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By Sandra James
Here’s the dilemma – you are at a family birthday
function and you notice that your ex-husband’s new wife has a rather
large black seed stuck between her front teeth. And every time she beams
a welcome to yet another guest, there it is giving her that rather
comical look usually associated with a vaudeville clown. You could
discretely whisper in her ear and save her from looking silly, after
all, she has always been pleasant to you and she’s never tried to steal
your children’s affection. What would you do?
Not a thing, I hear most of you say. Why should you? She’s younger,
prettier and everybody thinks she’s great. You’re looking like an old
hag in comparison. You’ve put on a few kilos, cover your grey hair with
shade number 23 and the crows feet around your eyes resemble the network
of new streets in the fabulous new housing estate where your ex and his
new wife have just bought a double story house. Let the gossips talk
about her for a while; at least it diverts the attention away from you
for a bit.
Have a little compassion, the rest of you insist. The poor thing is
young and inexperienced; she still has stars in her eyes and thinks your
ex is Mr Perfect. She’s got a lot to learn and she’ll come down with a
might thud when she realises what a dull, boring old fogey he really is.
And, of course, she will be working long, long hours in that impressive
job she’s got for many years to come so they can pay for that big house
because most of his wages go to you for child support. Give her a break!
A little voice reminds you that you should be grateful that it’s all so
civilised. Not everyone can celebrate their children’s birthdays after
divorce without major dramas. Your daughter is surrounded by a huge
extended family; in-laws, outlaws and a few you’re not so sure about,
except for the fact that each and every one loves her and wants the best
for her. What more could you ask for? Surely in the spirit of this whole
wonderful celebration, you could discretely make your way over to her
and whisper a few simple words in her ear?
You move a few steps closer. Would she do the same for you, if you had
something stuck in your teeth? Or would she use it as a means to get one
up on you? It must be hard coming into a new family as the other woman
and wondering what everyone thinks of you. Anything that could make her
look better than the first wife would be a boost to her confidence.
Perhaps she would see the reverse situation as a golden opportunity?
Yes, you suspect she might and you move back toward the corner and your
ex-mother-in-law, and feign interest in her health. Silly old
hypochondriac; she’ll more than likely outlive most people at the party.
You wonder what she thinks of her new daughter-in-law. She never seemed
to approve of anything you did and now you notice she’s looking across
the room at her and smiling benevolently. She never did that to you; she
spent most of your time together looking down that long nose of hers and
wrinkling it up ever so slightly at the end as if she could smell
something that had gone off. She finishes moaning about her health
problems and asks insincerely about you. You exaggerate your mundane
life and sigh with relief when she spots Uncle George across the room
and makes a beeline for him.
You look across and see your ex slide his arm around her waist. He never
did that with you in public and if you ever even tried to hold his hand
while walking down the street his eyes would dart left and right like a googly sideshow clown as he made sure none of his mates could see him.
She turns around and looks straight at you with her biggest smile of the
evening. You have to bite your lip to stop from laughing at that big
black seed.
So ... what will you do? You can go across and speak now or forever hold
your peace!
***
And what did I do? Did I simply smile and wave back,
then turn away as if there was nothing wrong? Or did I hasten to her
side and kindly warn her about the seed?
Neither, as a matter of fact. She extricated herself from my ex’s grasp
and quickly made her way across the room to my side.
Then she whispered in my ear, “Mandy, your fly’s undone!”
***
© Sandra James 2008
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