Stu,

It's impossible to please two people if they want you to be at different places at the same time. It's a simple as that. One or both of them is/are going to be upset.

However, you haven't really said that this is the case. You've always taken your mother on a cruise for Mother's Day in previous years, but does she really expect that nothing will change in your life after having a baby? Some people really are that unreasonable, but have you tried talking to her?

Hello Stu,

The general principal is that your spouse comes before your birth family, because you made a commitment to your spouse before all others. Doubly so, because you wife has just had a baby and she needs all your support right now. But that doesn't mean you have to have nothing more to do with your mother.

It's understandable if your mother is struggling with this transition -- all of us have unreasonable feelings at times no matter how evolved we are.

Is your wife's relationship with your mother normally good? Could you include your mother in your mother's day celebrations at home? Perhaps you could have the morning alone with your wife and baby then invite her for afternoon tea?

I second Belinda's suggestion that you try talking to your mother to see if some compromise is possible -- when's her birthday? Are there other family members you could recruit to your cause?