My boyfriend has just accepted a job overseas and I'm really happy for him. Problem is that he expects me to go with him! I had no intentions of moving - I have my own career here as well as my family and friends. But he's upset that I don't want to go too. I had thought that we'd continue our relationship long distance but he thinks it would be too impossible to manage. Am I being selfish by wanting to stay?
Sally
Comments (3)
You should do what is in your own best interests. Your boyfriend will not benefit from you sacrificing yourself - you'll only resent it and he will become responsible for your happiness or lack thereof.
Posted by Alex | March 18, 2008 11:02 AM
If it's a good move for you, or a shared adventure, by all means go. But it sounds like he's made his choice and expects you to fit in.
It always amazes me the number of women who are prepared to drop everything - friends, work, family connections - to move for a boyfriend.
Good on you for sticking to your guns.
Posted by Baressa | March 26, 2008 3:32 PM
It's a really big thing to cut yourself off from your friends, family and career and start again somewhere else. If he has a job all lined up, it will be easier for him to settle in and get on with his life. You risk becoming dependent on him for everything - you're the only one who can judge whether he is worth the risk.
On the other hand, a long-distance relationship leaves you both with a lot of spare time and opportunity to find someone new.
You could tell him that you'll take a month's holiday with him to see what you think of the place, and then maybe move there after you've organised your own job.
Posted by Lou | March 26, 2008 3:35 PM