Where does this big wedding obsession come from? A generation ago people got married in the local church or hall then had a backyard reception. But even some of these people if they divorce and get remarried now go in for the whole shebang. I don't get it - if I had a lazy $30,000 lying around I could think of ways to spend it that would last more than a day.

Like the article suggests, I bought my wedding outfit from a department store. It was pretty expensive by my ordinary clothing standards but by wedding standards very good! I didn't even go in to any wedding dress shops because I didn't want a big white dress or the big price tag to go with it. Actually I wore trousers at my wedding but there still were plenty of glamourous dresses including in white and ivory in regular department stores. I bought a top which I probably won't ever wear again because it's a bit bridal for my everyday tastes, but potentially you can get yourself a great outfit for future occasions if you change the accessories. Department stores also have shoes, clutch bags, gloves, brooches, jewellery, stockings... what else do you need?

Not everyone is interested in or is able to have a backyard reception.

Cheaper alternatives to a sit-down dinner include a buffet, afternoon tea or cocktail party style reception. These can all be up-market and held in commercial venues (or at a private location)

Alex: It is up to the individual how they spend their money. Some people find that the memories they get from their wedding last a lifetime, and it was money well spent.

Like Simone, my mother bought her wedding outfit from a department store. It was nice, but not too 'wedding-y' since it was blue. Mum got years of wear from it, and I sometimes wear it too now that vintage dresses are 'in'.

But if you want a proper wedding dress, there are bridal outlet stores that sell wedding dresses cheaply, sometimes for only a few hundred dollars.

Kim: it's not about whether it's in a backyard or not - that's not the measure of an extravagant or nonextravagant wedding. Maybe people have always competed to have the biggest and best wedding, but it seems like people now take it to extremes.

Alex: Consicuous consumption is nothing new. Case in point: the 80s. NOTHING was more extreme than that. Perhaps you just feel its the 'younger generation' throwing away their money?

One tip - keep the guest list small. We had a bit of a dilemma about this because some people believe that a wedding is a chance for the whole extended family to get together. But luckily we followed on from one of my cousin's weddings (just a few months later) so we thought they'd all seen each other recently and we could get away with it. My partner's family are mostly overseas so they wouldn't have come anyway. Keeping it small means you actually can splurge a bit on things like food and wine!

One way to keep costs down is to reduce how much alcohol people drink. Basically, people will drink more at night-time and less in the morning. They will also drink less if there isn't a visible bar. Outdoor daytime receptions are good for this - people can have a glass or two of wine, maybe for the toasts and cake cutting, and then move them on to tea and coffee. We had a high-tea style meal which was lovely and people just had a bit of champers, then some OJ or tea/coffee.

Putting a set number of bottles on a table, instead of having a bar, allows you to control how much is spent on alcohol. An added bonus is it decreases the chance of anyone getting too drunk.

As people have kind of hinted, a lot of keeping costs down in about changing your mindset. Don't think "I can't have what I want, it's got to be cheap" because you'll feel horrible and you won't be creative.

Instead, you have to start thinking:

- how can I be smart and creative about this?
- what do we already have (groom's suit, shoes, access to a venue)?
- what could we borrow from friends and family (outdoor furniture, table settings, napery)
- if it can't be borrowed, could it be got second-hand? or bought online?
- what is important to me? what do I remember from others' weddings? (these are the things *not* to skimp or skip) For me it was food, but not flowers or table settings or matching jewellery.

I try to remember my mind-set when I was a student: I had a lot less money, but I was just more creative and wasted less. Your expectations go up I think as you get older or get more money - sometimes you've just got to remind yourself that it's better on the pocket (and the environment!) to ask whether new is necessary.