My mother-in-law keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that my husband and I should be having children. Explaining that neither of us are ready to (or even in the financial position to) consider having children hasn't worked. I have kept laughing it off but she is getting increasingly persistent. How do my husband and I tell her FIRMLY to back off without causing a rift?
- Rachel
Comments (5)
It's a small point and doesn't fully answer your question, but if anyone needs to talk to your mil firmly, it should be your husband. I had this problem with an ex who would never stand up for us against his mum so when I tried to set some boundraies - calling before "popping over", not buying us food - she thought he still wanter her to do all this and it was just me was trying to cut her out of his life. In the end I decided she could keep him.
Posted by Annette | May 21, 2008 1:16 PM
My stock response to all such unwelcome (and inappropriate) questions - when are you getting married, when are you having children, and so on - is "we'll let you know". They might reply with a "don't leave it too late" but there's really not much more they can say after that.
Just to second Annette's point - there is nothing better for causing a rift than for a spouse to attempt to redefine a relationship that has existed for your husband's whole life.
Posted by Simone | May 21, 2008 1:23 PM
Rachel, I feel your pain!
I'm not sure that there is all that much you can do. Mother-in-laws are hardwired to drive their son's wives crazy like this, so she isn't likely to stop.
I agree with what the others have said, especially that it will have to come mostly from your husband. The reality is that you can only be so forceful without really offending her. Its probably not worth taking it that far, you might end up with an "Everybody Loves Raymond" situation
Posted by Kim | May 21, 2008 5:42 PM
Rachel, I feel your pain!
I'm not sure that there is all that much you can do. Mother-in-laws are hardwired to drive their son's wives crazy like this, so she isn't likely to stop.
I agree with what the others have said, especially that it will have to come mostly from your husband. The reality is that you can only be so forceful without really offending her. Its probably not worth taking it that far, you might end up with an "Everybody Loves Raymond" situation
Posted by Kim | May 21, 2008 5:42 PM
Just tell her to back off! If she wants kids she can have them herself instead of harassing other people.
Posted by The Princess | May 21, 2008 5:51 PM